The term codependency is missing in many authoritative sources for English language
American Heritage Dictionary: no entry
Webster New world Dictionary: no entry
Rogets Thesaurus: no entry
Columbia Encyclopedia: Traditional
definitions of addiction, with their criteria of physical dependence and
withdrawal (and often an underlying tenor of depravity and sin) have been
modified...
Is codependency an invention of popular pseudo science, or pop psychology?
There are hundreds of publications and internet resources on this topic.
http://pages.prodigy.com/sweetcece/cod1.htm
Here we find definitions of Codependency
Rodelle Lerner
An
Addition [?] to a person and that person's problem. An addiction to a relationship
and the problems the relationship brings. It is a pattern of learned behaviors,
learned feelings, and learned beliefs that make life painful. It is a dependency
on people and things outside of self to the point of self neglect.
Robert Subby, MA
An
emotional, psychological, and behavioral condition that develops as a result of
an individual's prolonged exposure to, and practice of, a set of oppressive
rules, rules which prevent the open expression of feelings, as well as the
direct discussion of personal and impersonal problems.
Cathleen Clements, MS, CCDP/Barbara Bofenkamp, MS, CCDP
One
whose dependency needs were not met during early developmental stages, who is
continually seeking validation of self worth, and who attempts to recreate the
parent/child relationships in other significant relationships.
Sondra Smally, PHD, CCDP
A
term used to describe an exaggerated dependent pattern of learned behaviors,
beliefs, and feelings that make life painful. It is a dependence on people and
things outside the self, along with neglect of the person to the point of having
little self identity.
Sharon Wedscheider Cruse, MSW
A
specific condition that is characterized by preoccupation and extreme dependence
(emotionally, socially, and sometimes physically), on a person or object.
Eventually, this dependence on another person becomes a pathological condition
that affects the codependent in all other relationships.
What
is Codependency?
My
good feelings about who I am stem from being liked by you.
My
good feelings about who I am stem from receiving approval from you.
Your
struggles affect my serenity.
My mental attention focuses on solving your problems or relieving your pain.
My
mental attention is focused on pleasing you.
My
mental attention is focused on protecting you.
My
mental attention is focused on manipulating you (to do it my way).
My
self esteem is bolstered by solving your problems.
My
self esteem is bolstered by relieving your pain.
My
own hobbies and interests are put aside.
My
time is spent sharing your interests and hobbies.
Your
clothing and personal appearance are dictated by my desires,as I feel you are a
reflection of me.
Your
behavior is dictated by my desires, as I feel you are a reflection of me.
I
am not aware of how I feel. I am aware of how you feel.
I
am not aware of what I want. I ask what you what I want.
I
am not aware; I assume.
The
dreams I have for my future are linked to you.
My
fear of rejection determines what I say or do.
My
fear of your anger determines what I say or do.
I
use giving as a way of feeling safe in our relationship.
My
social circle diminishes as I involve myself with you.
I
put my values aside in order to connect with you.
I
value your opinion and way of doing things more than my own.
The
quality of my life is in relation to the quality of yours
Disclaimer: The documents linked to other sources on the WWW, others than http://www2.tltc.ttu.edu/Schneider/ and its subdirectories, do not necessarily express the views of Texas Tech University or Dr. Andreas Schneider. @Copyright 2003 Andreas Schneider